Dear Diary:
1. Give wife morning off and take 2-year-old son to the park. Watch him tangle with a 5-year-old on the jungle gym.
2. Get up off bench and separate kids.
3. Listen to other dad tell his son: don’t play with that kid (your son) because that kid’s a wimp.
4. Feel indignant. Wonder if son overheard exchange and if he’s old enough to know what wimp means.
5. Mumble vaguely threatening words to other dad and watch in horror as he heads toward you. Hold your ground as the dad gets in your face, motions to your stomach and utters, “Nice paunch.â€
6. Look down at your paunch. Feel blindsided.
7. Go home and call everyone from your father to your tennis partner to complain about other dad.
8. Agree with college friend who tells you it’s insane that you’re now on a diet because of some cretin at the park.
9. Stay on diet.
10. Feel good about your new body. Go to park with your son. Sit on bench. Worry about your thinning hair.
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