Dear Diary:
As I waited for the elevator, I inescapably overheard a conversation between one of my neighbors and a person I presumed to be a music teacher. My neighbor was pressing the man to take a check, and he was vehemently arguing that he “was there anyway.â€
The back and forth went at least three rounds.
Even after the elevator arrived, I found I could not stop thinking about the exchange. My neighbor was trying to be thoughtful and generous, but the music teacher was trying to be the generous one, and my neighbor was unconsciously co-opting his role for herself. Instead of allowing him to be the giver, she insisted, albeit with good intentions, on forcing him to be the receiver, the indebted one.
Without even knowing it, she took from him the pleasure of giving, the good feeling we get when we are gracious and do something nice for someone else.
In this world, and especially in New York City, where the disparity of income is so apparent, I cannot forget that others who have less may have an equal desire to give, to be generous and kind. Allowing them to do so by being a good receiver can be a gift more valuable than money.
Read all recent entries and our updated submissions guidelines. Reach us via email diary@nytimes.com or follow @NYTMetro on Twitter using the hashtag #MetDiary.
