Talking ‘Mad Men’: A Knee-Jerk Reaction

Every Monday morning, Sloane Crosley and Logan Hill will offer their post-”Mad Men” analysis here.

Sloane Crosley: So which one of us is Ginger Rogers and which is Fred Astaire?

Logan Hill: I promise I will not punch you in the face, either way.

SC: What a Sylvia Rosen definition of “good to me” you have. Man, so many clusters of dysfunction this week. Where to begin?

LH: Well, obviously, we’re going to get into Don, Sylvia and Sally. But first, let’s start with another trio: Pete, his mom and Bob Benson’s knee. Did you see that coming?

SC: Now we know Joan was clearly a red-headed herring! I didn’t see that coming, despite it being the simplest solution to many Bob-related questions. One of my favorite things about this episode was that one of its most salacious reveals wasn’t over-the-top, it was just a word. Pete says “degenerate” and Bob makes a face and then? Then we all die a little.

LH: “Mad Men” fans have been generating Bob Benson theories faster than Stan burns through joints. But I wonder if this episode actually settles anything: Is Bob gay because he nudges Pete’s knee? I suppose so, but maybe he’s just an opportunist who has misread Pete?

SC: I don’t think they’re mutually exclusive. He’s a gay opportunist. I think it gives him depth. Not the nature of the secret, but that it exists. It explains why he’s always on the wrong floor, why he’s working outside Pete’s office, why he was eager to help Pete’s mother, why he’s a good ear for Joan. Mostly it explains that irritatingly uncrackable all-American patina, like he signed up to be a certain kind of man the way Dick Whitman signed up to be a certain kind of man.

LH: I’m not so sure. To me, I think all it proves is that Bob is seriously kinky: Anyone who is attracted to Pete â€" male or female â€" must have a very peculiar sexual imagination. Though Bob’s line about Manolo’s sexual orientation now makes much more sense. Meanwhile, have we seen anything more disturbing than Sally surprising Don and Sylvia? Wow.

SC: You know that Chekhov quote: put a key ring the size of a baby’s head (Pete and Peggy’s, Pete and Trudy’s … who cares?) in Act I and you have to twist every lock â€" and every plot â€" by Act IV. Unlike Bob, that I saw coming the second Abigail Breslin’s Evil Twin became obsessed with Mitchell. Last season opened with Sally’s curiosity about Don and Megan’s sex life but where does the show go from here? This is quite a bit of manipulative ammo for an already-manipulative kid.

LH: So manipulative. For Sally, it was bad enough that she had to watch Megan’s mother fellate Roger last season, but now this? It’s almost an answer to the fans who have become bored of Don’s incessant affairs. The wretchedness of seeing Don through Sally’s eyes â€" all sweaty and half-dressed â€" killed much of what was left of my sympathy for him. Do you think Sally tells Betty?

SC: I think she tells Glenn. Who tells his dad, Matt Weiner, who tells Don to keep it in his pants for the duration of a 30-second spot.

LH: Obviously, Sally’s going to try and act out with the dude who looks like he’s the lead singer of Paul Revere and the Raiders, right?

SC: And he doesn’t even look like him! Wrong haircut. Anyway, this is different than Sally getting her period and going back-to-basics with Betty because this isn’t basic. This is bigger than her and she might just wait and use it, trap the information like a bloody rat. Speaking of which, I really liked this episode in general but note there’s a “Peggy gets a cat” subplot and a “fruit juice” subplot.

LH: Sloane, I wanted to talk about the fruit juice.

SC: No need to make a federal case out of it, Logan! I mean, when you’re here it’s like you’re not even when you’re here. And another thing … [insert '60s housewife cliché here].

LH: Oh, you’re such a [insert chauvinist gripe here]. I was surprised that the Ted Offensive (sorry, Earth) actually worked so smoothly. Ted got his account and won, yet again. Ted’s right that Don doesn’t read memos; Don’s midlife crisis is a full-time job.

SC: I’ll see your Ted Offensive and raise you a Ted Talk. Imagine we’re talking about e-mails (Ted sends too many and reads too much into delayed response times) and even though he won, he still seems like a ninny to me. But hey, at least he goes home to his loving kids, gets his way at work and pulls strings to help Don’s mistress’s kid.

LH: Fine, Sloane. I get it. I’ll stop e-mailing. But I do think Ted is winning on all fronts of his war with Don. And I suspect we could be heading toward a finale â€" just two more episodes! â€" in which Don loses his hold on the firm and his family. This season began with Dante’s “Inferno.” I doubt it ends in “Paradiso.” Two episodes left: Does Ted make his move? Does Bob? Does Peggy suddenly become a cat lady?

SC: Good point. Last week some of the commenters mentioned a dream scenario in which Joan and Peggy start their own ad agency. Sadly, that seems unlikely. I think Megan finally clues into Don’s affairs.

LH: I agree with that prediction. But I’m terrified of what Pete may do with that rifle (finally). And I just hope we see more of Christina Hendricks. One thing I know for sure: I like “Mad Men” when Joan’s in more than just the Scotch ads.

Sloane Crosley is the author of “How Did You Get This Number” and “I Was Told There’d Be Cake“; Logan Hill is a journalist who has contributed to The New York Times, New York, GQ, Rolling Stone, Wired and others.