A Mother’s Loss and a Mayor’s Unwelcome Sympathy

Ramin Talaie/Getty Images Carol Gray, the mother of Kimani Gray, 16, was escorted by City Councilman Charles Barron, right, as she arrived on Saturday for her son’s funeral. Mr. Gray, according to the police, had pointed a gun at two plainclothes officers, who shot him.

For several days and through various channels, the office of Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg, a firm advocate of gun control, as well as the mayor himself, had tried to contact the family of a Brooklyn 16-year-old who was killed by plainclothes officers after the police said he had pointed an illegally obtained revolver at them.

It would have been an unusual moment of private condolences offered to the family of Kimani Gray: Mr. Bloomberg has described the deadly shooting as justified based on the police account.

It is perhaps even more unusual that the efforts have, so far, been rebuffed by the mother of the teenager, Carol Gray.

“We weren’t interested in the photo op,” said Kenneth J. Montgomery, a lawyer representing Ms. Gray. “In the totem pole of important things and important emotions, that would come somewhere at the bottom.”

Mr. Montgomery said the mayor’s office had reached out to him through different avenues starting several days after the March 9 shooting, including through its community affairs staff in Brooklyn and the office of Councilman Jumaane D. Williams. A representative of Dennis M. Walcott, the schools chancellor, also tried to set up a meeting.

But in a sign of the tense atmosphere that has gripped the East Flatbush neighborhood where the shooting took place, each of those attempts was met with a polite but firm no, Mr. Montgomery said.

The police said the two officers shot Mr. Gray after he brandished a .38-caliber revolver - loaded with four bullets - and pointed it at them. The gun was recovered at the scene, the police said.

But distrust of the Police Department fueled contradictory accounts of the shooting, including some that questioned whether Mr. Gray had been armed at all. Anger exploded into several days of demonstrations in the neighborhood, drawing in local elected officials, anti-police activists and other protesters from around the city.

It was against that backdrop that the mayor sought to contact Ms. Gray late that week. For some, it was too late.

“He did not reach out when he should have to the family,” said Councilman Charles Barron, who has had close contact with Ms. Gray. “He made some feeble attempts through other folks later on. But the mayor knows how to get in touch with people when he wants to.”

Mr. Bloomberg brought up his efforts to reach the family during a recent interview on gun control with The New York Times after being asked about his sense of personal outrage at gun violence in the aftermath of the Newtown, Conn., school shooting.

“I give eulogies at cops’ funerals,” the mayor said. “I call parents when their kids are killed. You know, sometimes I don’t get to them. There’s this 16-year-old” - he said, referring to Mr. Gray - “I’ve tried, and the woman, the mother, is not taking any calls, changed her phone number so I can’t, but I did reach out.”

What set the police shooting of Mr. Gray apart from others where the mayor has met with victims’ families is that the police said he had been armed with a gun, and Mr. Bloomberg said the shooting appeared justified. The mayor’s office could not immediately provide an example of another time when Mr. Bloomberg had offered condolences in such a situation.

Nor, however, do there appear to be many recent instances of the mayor or other top city officials being prevented from directly offering condolences to the victims of police shootings.

In 2006, days after the police’s fatal shooting of Sean Bell, who was unarmed, Mr. Bloomberg met privately with the family. And following the October shooting death of Noel Polanco, an unarmed National Guardsman, the family accepted a private visit from Police Commissioner Raymond W. Kelly, who offered condolences, even as the relatives were calling for a full investigation of the shooting.

“Anytime a young person is killed it is a tragedy not only for the family, but also for the community and the city,” said John J. McCarthy, a mayoral spokesman. “The community was clearly upset about the incident and he felt that calling the family was the right thing to do.”

But for Mr. Montgomery, such a call would serve little purpose. “I don’t know why he would reach out,” he said. “I’m much more interested in seeing him pushing the powers that be to get an investigation done.”

Michael Barbaro contributed reporting.